nat-naloki

2011-02-25T19:31:00.003+08:00

this is my feeling for this few days always keep thinking of it , when i know that i gana take over NPCC as a vice-chairwomen and NIC but what i heard from syafiq and sianli is if i take over sec2s they wont come for training and will quit CCA !! they don like me because i strict but if i not like that how i can take over them and train them to be good cadet and to be good NCO in future !! all the thing that i do is for their own good de but they don wan it ... what they ac-pact from me is to let them slack which i not gana let them do that !! if just only this they cannot take it .. NCO course how can they take it !! i don wan them to suffer during NCO course that why i plan to train them now !!! but end up what i get is the word " HATE" ... feel damn stress !! and feel tired but i not gana let it go easily .. I PROMISE!!

today got science & maths common test !!! feel damn stress .. the science paper damn suck!!! i think i will fail =( the teacher think we wad sia ... give us 35 min to do but got so many questions 9 pager for us to do !! i leave 2 questions that never do feel damn regrade ... before the test is science lesson but the teacher never come and reviews for us not like maths teacher .. i can say that the science teacher are SUCK! ... go back JC and teach better la ... i think at JC also don wan him that's why he come NORTHLAND ... =( DIE DIE I GANA DIE !! if he will take me for science till sec4 i think every year i will fail my science !!

2011-02-22T22:18:00.002+08:00

today school going well ... whole day laugh like hell !! after school i came back home and wait for my mum to sent me go see doctor (face doctor) but i keep waiting for her till 3+ ..till i really cannot wait anymore than i went off on my own .. today the handsome doctor not in so i need to see the women doctor sad=( ... after i see doctor i take bus to 1 Thailand shop to help my mum by something ... on the way to thee shop i saw izzat and he cover his face like don wan me to see him but i have to say sry to him my eyes very sharp de ... i can see him !! hahaa... when i reach the shop i was messaging with jamaliah and than i was receive 1 message from my ex (Weijie ) he told me that he has sprint his left leg and the caring feeling is come back again ,i was so sock and faster reply his message back ... "how come ?" than he reply me back " he was playing basketball with his friends than sprint till his leg "... i was damn worried about him than he reply me with this sentence"Aiyo , i also so big le. will take care of myself de =)" after this message make me feel that i really KPO about him , than suddenly we starting talking about the past ... i ask him last time i really make him stress is it? than he say yeah ... and i was ask him back what i do make him so stress till we break than he say he aready forget is aready long time ago ... but for me from the time that we both break i feel like is just yesterday only ... it's seem so different feeling ... everytime you give me the =) it's the real from ur heart or not ?! ... sometime i feel like asking but i not dare to know the real answer from you !!
that 's all for today post !!
night and sweet dream !!
thanks jamaliah , shermaine , sean, annice, angela and jeslyn for make me smile everyday !!
i love you all !!

2011-02-17T21:41:00.002+08:00

today went to school with no mood , no mood to do anything . i feel damn sad because i lost my wallet and hand phone yesterday but lucky the cleaner keep the phone and give to office .. now i get back my phone and i hope that i will get my wallet back because is my last birthday gift that i get from my mum ... i feel damn sad for it !! =( i really don know what to do so i can get it back . got one of teacher ask me go report so the teacher will help me to find and i go report from morning i wait but still no news from the teacher ... after school went for meeting ... need to wait for syafiq and sianli so long than annice , jamaliah , jeslyn , jecky and angela company me wait for them ..but angela went of first because she need to go for her training .. today when i saw annice , jamaliah and jeslyn laugh i feel damn happy i like to see when they laugh ... when i saw they laugh make me feel more less of stress and make me never think of everythings that make me sad and stess... i very great that i have friends like them =) thanks all of you to trying to make me smile everyday !!! i love you all !!

2011-02-16T22:25:00.002+08:00

today school quite ok ... after school when to NorthPoint to do EBS project with my teacher and my group members damn fun !! but need to rush come back for training ..when i change my attired i was put my hand phone and my LV wallet with my bag than i go change my attired ... when i change finish i leave the toilet for my training ... after training i find out that my hand phone and my LV wallet lost i damn panic ... my sir ,Mdm and my NPCC friends help me to find but still cannot find it ... but when i call to my phone it still ringing than they said that mean my phone still on and maybe got people give to office , than they told me to go ask office tomorrow morning i hope that i will be there !!! because my wallet is my mum give me as my birthday present ... i just know that i cannot live with out phone !!! =( ... i feel damn strange with out phone .. usually i will hold my phone every where because i must SMS chat with my friends but now don have how can i span my night with out phone !!!
today i know my position in NPCC ... i was vice chairwomen and NIC of sec1 quite happy about it !! but still sad for my phone and wallet !!! if my mum know i think she will be very sad because i lost the wallet that she was given me as birthday present ... i have to say sorry to my mum ~ T.T wan to cry even wallet and hand phone i also cannot take care of it !! how i gona take care of my family in the future sia !! =(
end of the post for today !! night and sweet dream all !! =(

2011-02-15T22:29:00.005+08:00

THANKS~ YUE KNG for care bear !!

Actually in the morning i very good mood but when i saw someone and get scolded from VP my day started with damn moody ... today all my smile is just face smile i not say it out because i don want all my friends sad and worried about me ... i really cannot take it from you (i think you all know who) ... can you don show me your temple ?! because i don wan to show you my temple too !! i don wan to lost friends because of my temple but if u still continue like this i think i much do something about it already ... 1day u will lost friends and not even him will leave you because of your attitude please change be it be come late !!!

BUILT TO LAST - Official Music Video

2011-02-14T20:22:00.001+08:00

today damn sad ... once i step out of my house in the morning i already saw the couple at the bus stop ... on the way to school saw another couple again than i look at beside me nobody feel sad sad but is ok because i still got my great friends like Annice , Angela , Jamaliah , Jeslyn, Shermaine , Sean ... thanks Jamaliah and Annice for the chocolate ... even i not eat it but i feel so touche ... thanks~ a lot u all make me start my day with good mood even something happen in our group i still happy to have friends like you all ...
I LOVE YOU ALL !!! THANK~

2011-02-12T16:42:00.002+08:00

good afternoon reader!! yesterday morning school goes quite well all my friends make me quite happy , they talk a lot of jok so i quite happy .. thanks to jamaliah , shermaine, sean , jeslyn,and all of my classmate !! evening i went to Sambawang to have dinner with my cousins they all .. but before i went there is a raining cat and dog (heavy rain) i need to wait for so long, so i can go there !! on the way to bus stop when i walk there so many people looking at me so i turn and ask my cousin "it's my face got something?" than my consin say"no! just think that they looking at us because we are pretty can already ..." hahaa.. i like what my consin say !!! ... that's end for yesterday post!
today nothing much to post i stay at home whole day !! play internet eat than sleep !! hahaa... my life so bored today!! =)

2011-02-09T21:42:00.002+08:00

today is Laughton day!! whole day laugh like wad ... my Chinese test get 16/30 pass by 1 mark ..
today damn happy because all my friends make a jokes like hell ... thanks~ to jamalliah , shermaine , jeslyn, sean,sen wei and all my sec3s NPCC friends... you all make me damn happy today! i want everyday be like today=) i hope everyday be like this ...
today went to HTA for dry shoot (practice shoot) everything gone fine ... the trainner say i shooting quit good so a bit happy already but tomorrow is the classification shoot is the real shoot and i must get marksmenship ... is very important for me in the future course ... i hope i can get it!!
today not thing much to post so night and see you tomorrow!! =)

2011-02-07T17:58:00.002+08:00

today school damn fun , all my classmate make me laugh whole day ... today got CPA test i don know whether i will pass the test or not scared i fail . today teacher ask us to write some personal thing on the paper . one question that make me feel damn sad when one of my friend say she don have friend in school than Jamaliah , annice , angela, jeslyn and ME is wad if not her friends... i don care of what she say ... However she is still my best friend Forever !!! end of the post today =)= don know which face to give just guess one k ... oh yeah like what i said at facebook i not gana care about it if you still think that i'm ur friend just come and talk to us and what u want us to help just tell we willing to help you!!!

2011-02-05T20:22:00.002+08:00

hello all ! , today wake up quite late because last night drink beer with my mum.. hahaa...
i miss the past that make me happy and give me a good memories ... i miss all my friends~ i hope that i will have more time to spend with them like the past .. today stay at home whole day never go out at all .. so today my life quite bored .. nothing much to post so bye ~~ and see you tomorrow ~=)

2011-02-04T23:02:00.004+08:00

never up date for 3days ... got a lot of things on damn tired. yesterday Chinese New Year very very tired need to wake up so early to get ready to go my grandma house . go there also nothing to do but i don know why my parents and my cousins they all want go so early ... sian but today quite ok can wake up a bit late around 2pm only . hahaa... =) wake up than my mum ask me to help her cook Thai food because my mum's friends come my house . from afternoon until now they keep drinking red wine and beer ... how can they drink sia .. that day i drink with my cousins next morning wake up damn headache but still need to wake up early to go my grandma house ...
today nothing much to post ... so night and sweet dream guys!!!

2011-01-31T21:34:00.004+08:00

sometimes the answer you've been searching for turns out to be futile , the feeling with something is merely a reflection of the moment then it'll pass by along with days that have drifted away.
++++++++
today school quite good and having a great time with friends but when i saw someone . i was sprint my mood . but as long as i'm be myself no one can make me sad !!! during CPA lesson one of sec1 bang on me than never say sorry , during that time i damn no mood but lucky my friend ask me to relax and i can control my temple so nothing happen but i was very angry with that girl ... she think she very big in school ah? only sec1 already act big than in future how she will act sia .. after school went to help teacher out for Chinese new year with Jeslyn and Jamaliah to discrete the hall but haven finish yet, i think tomorrow if got times i will stay back and complete it ...
+++++++++
CHINESE NEW YEAR COMING WISH ALL
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!! =)

2011-01-30T21:01:00.002+08:00

HI ALL ~ today went out whole day ... morning times go to airport to send one of my friend go back to his country . abit sad because my friend go back .. i will miss him so much ~ after that we went to Bugis for shopping but end up never buy anythings from there . hahaa.. than ones of my friend had a good idea she ask us whether want go watch movie or not ? everybody say in one sound is YES! than we went to orchard to watch movie .. once again end up we never watch movie but we went to shopping like hell !! hahaa.. i like to day the most when i am with my friends .. hahaa... today damn happy never think of the past ... now i only know one thing is i very happy =) thanks all my friends that make me damn happy today!! .. tomorrow school again i hope nobody sprint my mood ... hahaa...
so that's end of my day=) see you tomorrow !!
night and sweet dream !!

2011-01-29T21:23:00.002+08:00

now chatting with Jamaliah ... feel better because everytime i with her i feel very happy ...
i don know why when i with her than i feel happy ... jamaliah thanks you so much for make me happy =)

2011-01-29T17:51:00.003+08:00

today nothing much , just stay at home whole day take care of my younger sister... i would like to thanks Shermaine xiaomeimie to help me change my blog skin . today feel lonely . listen to music whole day. i don know why when i listen to the music that i like than my tears will start dropping . it's maybe i always think of the past but for now onward i wont cry for him anymore .i promised myself !! ... today nothing much to post see you tomorrow!!!

2011-01-28T19:01:00.005+08:00

why torture and inflect pain on myself ? giving daiily attention to someone who doesn't care. Dwelling in the past ,the same terrible things opening up my scars even more , who am i hurting for? he doesn't love me ,let him go where he please, he;s gone to love someone , somewhere just let him , there's no need to to be awear of anyof it .let go of everything. don't give my broken heart any more grief . tell myself to put an end to it already it's about time for me to quit hurting myself short my eyes and my ears there's no mood to listen to the voices of nonsense listen to the voices of my own heart, who am i hurting for ? come to terms with it already. one of these days there'll be news of him going out with someone , i will just let him go . the one hurting and saffering is me , he's unawear of it at all . he just one heartless person there's nothing good about him it's time to cut off my feeling enough, enough of it already ...

หยดน้ำตา[Tears]Eng.Sub[] - Vietrio Feat. Peck Palitchok

2010-12-18T16:46:00.000+08:00

the answers that u told me on that day ...
it's make me havind pain tears and sad in my life and i go back thailand with no mood ...
if u are waiting for someone each pls stop giving me a hope ...
u don know how sad i am ...
when ever i cry u will be very happy ...
when ever i sick u wont care me but when u are sick i try to do every things for u and always care for u ...
all of this make me knows that u never ever care about me ...
the wored LOVE that u always tell me is just like the wored HATE for me !!! ...
so pls stop it !!!

2010-11-21T21:51:00.002+08:00

sometimes you make me feel happy ....

sometimes you make me feel sad ...

sometimes you make me feel silly ...

sometimes you make me feel scared even though my feeling i am still the same inside ...

you make me very confuce of your feeling to word me ... you say "you like me but you still waiting for someone reply whether want to patch back with you or not...

i have a feeling like i'm your toy !!! if you like someone else pls dont giving me a hope ....

because it will hert me alot !!...

2010-10-08T23:20:00.003+08:00

i feel like i just like ur toy ... when u want to play just play , when u dont want just throw away .... i really don know what u want from me ... u say that u still like me but the way u trust me is not like what u say ... u told me that you brk with her aready but i dont feel that ... because u and her always be together .... from ur act toword me, i aready know that u want to be two timer ... i really cannot trust u .... 1 question that u had asked me it make me very happy to know that u still like me too ... but today morning i saw you and her sit together i feel damn sad even you see the smile from my face ... u make me cry again !!! SO now i dont know shouldd i carry on with that or give up ... all the things that i have done for u all is from my heart to u ...

today is first day of exam and the paper aready damn hard ... i dont know the rest of the paper will be this hard or not ... i wish you guy all the best !!! GOOD LUCK FOR ALL OF UR EXAM !!!

2010-10-06T18:10:00.002+08:00

maybe is ture that i still like you , like how you feel it ... Is because i love you so much and dont want to lose you for anybody so what i can do is only to be there for you when you need someone to talk to ... now you dont have her aready i dont know i should be happy or sad ...

today i really angry with CPA teacher ... he goo and log my computer with no reson and he never log the person that did something wrong ... actually i aready hate him since he sco my father ... i never hate any teacher likee this be4 ... he is 1st one that make me hate him like hell ... i even dont want to see his face ... 1 more day to final year exam le damn stress le ... study hard guy!!! GOOD LUCK FOR UR EXAM !!!

Jessie James - I Look So Good (Without You)

2010-09-19T15:31:00.000+08:00

i hope another girls that stead with u now will be last long with u ...
now i know what i get from u last times ... 1 day ur girl will get like me ...

I LOOK SO GOOD WITH OUT YOU !!!!

2AM - Sorry I Can't Smile For You - Even If I Die I Can't Send You - (e...

2010-09-09T14:58:00.000+08:00

FOR YOU !!! ... those who make me cry ... those who make me sad ...

Am Fine Feat. Keng of Infamous - Ha Mai Choe Rue Thoe Mai Mi (Eng Subs)

2010-09-01T19:01:00.001+08:00

no more the word love for the f***ing guy ... for the times that i use to wait for you ... for now i will use it to forget you !!!

Klear - Mai Yahk Hai Jai (Eng Subs)

2010-09-01T18:24:00.001+08:00

i believe that many people also have the same moment as me now .... in this moment sometimes it make me weak and think that i cannot live with out him ... dont want to alife anymore ...i lost my attentions ... but got 1 person always tell me to forget him and always cheer me up when i sad ... he always be there for me when i need someone to talk to ... and because of him i can think that i must carry on my life for the person (my family , my friends) that i love ...

[MV Eng Sub 1080HD] Swee:D - ฉากเรียกน้ำตา (Sad Scene)

2010-08-31T19:14:00.001+08:00

the question that i always keep thinking in my mind sin i break with you untill now is you had told me that you stress when you with me then you want to break with me and want to be my best friend ... and then i ask you what kind of stress that you have last time ?... and you giving me the f***ing answer is you dont know !!! do you know how much i hert ?...

MAYBE WHAT I THINK IS TURE !!

NOW YOU STILL IN LOVE SO YOU DONT KNOW HOW I FEEL

BUT WHEN YOU WITH OUT HER THAN YOU WILL KNOW VERY WELL

HOW I FEEL IN THIS MOMENT !!!

[MV] Nice 2 Meet U - คนเหงาเขาทำกัน

2010-08-30T20:47:00.002+08:00

how much of love that i give you ... it 's still not enough for you ...because you just want to be my best friend that's all .... but you never think of me how i feel when i saw you and ur gf together ... it just 1 smile that i give you then you think that i am happy ... i just want to tell you that the smile that i give you every times i saw you and her together is faced smile inside my heart is damn sad and even cannot smile at all ... Now you in love you dont know how i feel so much when you with out her than you will know how i feel for this moment ... the difficurt life that i need to face it is during traing i dont know how i can face you and think that you is one of my best friends... if i do something that you dislikes pls forgive me and forget ... i really cannoot contro the word love ...

Four Mod - บีบน้ำตา (Beep Nam Tha)

2010-08-23T18:34:00.001+08:00

the times that had pass it make me think of alot of things that i never think of it before ...

and the pain that i have it make me think of something that dont easyly believe on someone ...

from now on word i will try to be stronger than last time ... and i will wont cry for it anymore ... :)

2010-08-02T11:09:00.002+08:00

when you're tired and are sick . you're usually looking for someone . the person who's wonderful , the person who care for you . i'm just the one who watches you , standing right here outside of ur heart , i'm not so wonderful but is it enough to have any way for me to stand over there when you are need ? i want to be the one you're close to though i only have the right to dream i can only be the one who watches over and worried about you . i'm not the one you want to love , i just want to be someone who love you and care about you , just keep me close to you so i can worry about you when you dont have anyone else . i'll be anything in your heart ... i might not be the best in your eyes , i might not have everything you want but i want to do everything with my heart . to make you happy , always....

2010-07-26T21:56:00.002+08:00

if i was a disorgonized person . i might have forgotten those things . the images of when we were in love , the visions of those days are stuck in my mind . the more i remember who i once loved , it's like i'm slowly dying . how many tears have i shead and all received was pain . a hundred thousan baad times , but my heart never kept them , hurting here with the same images of good times that still haven't faded away . i want to forget you with all my heart as soon as possible so i dont have to hurt or be tortured wwith forgetting your face , let the pain be destroyed , let my brain be damaged , let my mind become indistinct so i can forget the memories reminding me that i once loved you ....

2010-07-24T18:32:00.002+08:00

No one has ever been as good to me as you . it's always warm when i have you beside me . just by looking in to ur eyes , it's enough for me to understand that no one else can love me the way you do But if you were me , you would do the same thing as me , Deep inside we both know that we're diffrent . In my heart , i wish to love you But we can't love each other . i'm also sorry for having to say this . No matter what , there won't be such a day when you and i will be able to love each other but please know that you'll be in my heart .

No matter how long it'll be ...

I won't forget you ....

2010-07-19T20:58:00.004+08:00

on the bus to HTA : for doing dry shoot

in class room doring BMTL lesson

in the hall doring PE lesson

at Northpoint eat dinner with family

at the bus stop , waiting for the bus

damn sian then take this photo

thank yue kng for buying this pink panther

for me !!!

..........................................

today when to HTA ( Home team ) for dry shoot .... damn fun , 1st i abit scead to hold the gun but doring the practice , the intoducter teach us very good and told me a jokked for me to relax and not to scaed END up i can do it !!!! damn happy :)

2010-07-12T18:36:00.002+08:00

For me to behave as i did , that was inappropriate of me , wasn't it ? we have to be friends now , but i never commit it to memory . Exhibiting behaviors that indicate i still have feeling for you . i'll be honest with you , every time we meet . our eye contact is enough to unsteady me . the status that should change still hasn't changed . no matter how i tell my heart , it won't remember . i forget myself , it's over between us , if i happen to offend you with this look in my eyes insinating that i love you just pay me no attention . if by change i carelessly reach out to touch you . please warn and advise me of my actions and everything me that still refuses to accept the truth that we 're no longer together . Let's no see each other anymore , i need some time to cope . Let it gradually fade away , forgetting we used to be lovers. For today , my heart is still unable to stop loving you Please wake me up from all of this , Please tell me there is absolutely no way we can be together again ....

2010-07-09T22:56:00.002+08:00

why ? love make me sad but i still need it when he gone ... i dont know what i should do when i with out him !!! ...even he always make me sad or aready have new stead but i still love him ... i thourh times will help me to forget him but it no use at all ... more times past is more hurts i get from it !!!

2010-07-03T21:45:00.002+08:00

The day and the pain damaged my heart ...
The day and the word love pushed me down...
On that day , i use to think my life was over after crying every last teardrop...
After learning to familiarize myself with the word defeat ...
The word love that brought me down is teuth but it also pushed me to keep walking forword ...
How much i love him last time now it also the same ...
although slow time still continues to revolve ...
Reaping the bad days, reminding my heart to remember ...
Despite a painful love that make me not dare to have another love again !!

2010-06-30T22:53:00.002+08:00

y the word LOST must come in my life ?! ... last time i had LOST bf for another girl ... today i lost money again ... LOST money it's not just today .. i had LOST it so many times aready ... i really want to know who is that person take my money ... if i know i will not let that person go ... im sure !!! ....
.................
today school damn sian !!! after school got trianing ok lah better then study , can play game but play with sec 1 damn sian !!! some of them dont know how to play ... some of them scead of the ball so all the sec 2 feel damn sian to play game with sec1 ... after training i found out that i lost money .... from happy become sad ... :) > :( ....

I HOPE NEXT TRIANING WILL HAVE MORE FUN !!!

2010-06-29T20:12:00.002+08:00

About the past u want me to forget....

maybe times will make me forget about it ....

but if u want me to forget u i can give u only 1 answer ...

I CANNOT FORGET U !!! ...

...................

when i saw u with that girl , i feel like no life in this world , my heart like going to stop pumping ... and the smile from my face everyday it just an act for make people happy more then worried about me ... but i still need to smile like this untill i really forget u !!! ... if i cannot see u i think that i can forget u but it just some ressen that make us alway see eash other ... even iin school or in CCA ... but i will try my best to dont look at u ... it not because i hate u ... it becaus i cannot accep it ... i will go to u when i am ready to be friend with u ......

2010-06-19T15:25:00.002+08:00

no don't , don't act this way ... don't act like we're still friends... i'll be honest... it isn't not that easy , if u looked into my eyes just once you would know ... all that time where we use to be close . no matter how i look , i still see u like before ... to change a lover to be just a friend, it's so easy , how is it easy?! would it be wrong if i wated to go far away from here, when the more i see you the less i''m able to get over it... i want you to know that theres no way we cn be friends... this word is not in the dictionary of someone who is an EX , angry and sad when u leave,erasing the messages... i want to runfar away from having to see u and her together ... u maay think that i can accep it but not at all , i even forget the word that u told me before u leave ... u told me that u love me but we cannot be lover because u feel streass when u with me but u want to be my best friend ...

.......................................

just go out for 2 hours ... not go out to have fun but go there for my grandpa nagged ... sian!!! the rest of the day stay at home ... stay at home do wad? for me eat , sleep , play computer ... not thing mor then that .... my life damn sian!!! :(

2010-06-19T00:38:00.004+08:00

u keep lying to me so many times and i alway forgive u because i believe that u will change someday but it's not ...u keep doing this again and again ... now i aready had enough and tired to hear the lying from u ... i wont believe in u anymore ... i think u can not change ur suck attetue ... every times u lie to me maybe u think that i dont know ... i know!!! i just dont wan to say out only !!! im scead that u will feel sad cus u cannot lie to me ... i just keep act like dont know anything like u keep lying to me !!!

..................................

HOLIDAY!!!! make my life damn bored !!!! from the days after come back from indonesia alway stay at home never go out ... i think almost forget the way in singapore aready bah!!!! ... hahaa... i really wan to go out !!! who free pls call me go out !!! miss all my friends so much ...

2010-06-17T00:22:00.004+08:00

yesterday is my birthday and i need to go for SANA couse too ... on the morning i get up with a happy mood ... and went to school for took the bus to sang guk ... during the couse was very fun because got the funny stuff alway told jokked to us ... after the lunch time we have a test , from Northland sec got only 1 person fail the test but she had tooked the retest and she pass aready so now need to doo the project for SANA couse ... need to find 5 people to do assignment , for now haven find yet ... but i think i can find 2 aready they are my mum and my dad .... hahaa... after finish the couse Mr.Ong bring us to the shopping mall nearby and he buy 1 cake for me , wee kuan , irza to dargurated ... y he buy for us is because on 7th june is irza birthday ,yesterday is my birthday, 21st is wee kuan birthday ... today im so happy:) and need to say thank to Mr.ong CM and my friends for make me happy today ...i will remember this birthday 4ever!!!! ...

................................

come back home i get birthday present from my aunty is LV bag ... i like it so much !!! :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF

AND HAPPY ADVANCED BIRTHDAY TO

WEE KUAN!!!

2010-06-14T19:14:00.004+08:00

i conduct myself in a better way than the past but the best i get in return is loneliness ... no one wants me ... my heart is getting tired and i'm slowly growing weaker ... i have only tears it's only thing that i know ... i devoted , willingly did everything ... secretly hoping 'till the very last minute ... but i have never been chosen ... oh , how it hurts for never being the one in anyone's sight... i can only wait anxiousely for someone enduring the loneliness day by day to the point of exhaustion ... before there is someone for me to love ... before i can find a home for my heart ... i'll probable no longer breathing ... you gave me a hope before it turned into the past ... you're just someone who shared a path with me , you're just another personn who abandoned me ... i can only continue to wait ever if i wait 'till my heart curmbles to pieces all i can ever do is wait ...

2010-06-10T14:56:00.005+08:00

playing skywalk :)

playing flying fox :)

last night BBQ :)

playing BOOM- NET

after make mosquito net for poor people houses

making mosquito net

tree planting for school nearby island

going nearby island

planting tree for school

group picture with the bus

planting the tree for school

group picture when playing water

after make rafting

making rafting

on the ferry to bintan

i miss the times that i had spended on NPCC bintan trip ... the people there was very kind and helpful ... and i miss the times that i did activities ... it was very fun and fun that time i know only it was very fun ... and want to play again and again ... the times was past so fast ... i still want spend more time at there ...

miss

the

times

Bintan

Trip

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2010-06-08T14:43:00.047+08:00

BINTAN TRIP

jia hui : nat : fizam

group picture with bintan people

on the way to nearby island to do CIP

their house (bintan people house )

water very clean

on the morning 6/6/2010 time : 7:28

on the morning 6/6/2010 time: 7:27

on the morning 6/6/2010 time : 7:26

At Singapore Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal

on the both going back resort

on the both going nearby island

where im take the rest...

where im take a rest ...

get ready to take the ferry to bintan

arrive at tanjung pinang , bintan

ferry to bintan

at singapore

game that we alway do be4 we sleep

the bus that alway drive us go any where

Loola adventure Resort where that im having fun and get a rest , the food are very nice and it make me have alot of energy to play games ... 1st day i kayak to opposite island and build a raft ... it's very fun ... 2rd day early in the morning we went to nearby island to do CIP ( community involvement project) ... we do mosquito net building for poor people house and tree planting for school ... after that we have lunch on the boat ... after we finish lunch ,boat expedition and we play boom-net ... playing boom-net it's very fun , we jump on to the sea water and can play the sea water on the net ... at night we have BBQ and bonfire , bonfire we having alot of fun on it ... cus we dunce untill another grop of people look at us and the tranner joy us to dunce ... 3rd day we do skywalk and coconut tree climbing ... after that we to the town for shop ...

activities that we do are :

kayah race
rafting
CIP
boom - net
skywalk
coconut tree climbing
go town shopping

2010-06-04T16:07:00.002+08:00

i pretend to be cold withh you at all times ... alway avoiding eye contact when facing you ... it's better to keep my distance , never get close to you ... there's someone else that you love ... even though i know better but sometime my heart still feel jealous ... the more i let my heart fall the more i will get hurt from it ...no matter how much it hurts ... n matter how much i must suffer ... as long as i can forget him i wiilling to do it ...
..................................
when my heart aready feel ok ... why you must sms me or call me again ? i just want to know what you want from me ... from the past that i had spends time with you i aready know that you is not that good as what i think ... now i aready stop the problem that i having ... so i just want you to stop too... for now i stilll can let you to be my friend .... pls dont make me think of the word hate ...
...........................................
im not a toy for you to play ...
dont think that only you can do it ....
if i want to do i can do more thing then you did to me ...
i just dont want to do it only ...
pls dont force me to do the way that i don like to do ...

2010-06-03T18:51:00.003+08:00

i have lose my way when you (ex) gone ... but now i finding my way back to my normal life and be happy with my friends and family ... times make me remind of something that i never think of it be4 ... sometime friend it's importand then stead ... i will remember the times that i had spends with you (ex) and the most of the times that you (ex) make me happy ... i will be there for you forever ... to all my friends when you need my help just come to me i will help you guy if i can help .... i wan to thank all of my friends that alway make me smile when im sad and make me remind of alot of thing that i never think of it be4 ... thank thank thank alot ....

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LOVE U GUY ALOT !!!!

2010-06-02T13:09:00.003+08:00

the pain that i having it just too real ... and now i am trying to hide it away ... and let the happiness fix my heart back ... now he dont love me anymore but i still have my family and my friends that still love me and care me ... i will wait for the right person for me .... 12 more day is my birthday leh ... i hope that i will be happy on that day and all my wish is come ture ...

2010-05-31T18:07:00.002+08:00

NOW!!! i am tired and had enough on you .... what you want to do just do , what you want to say just say, AND WHO YOU WANT TO LOVE JUST LOVE .... i wont care about you anymore ...

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I HAD ENOUGH WITH IT

2010-05-30T23:53:00.002+08:00

i have to live a meaningless life , the sky is empty , there is only loneliness that's alway there as my shadow ... from the day you went away my heart becomes clouded lighht gets dimmer my heart starts to break ... it hurts so much the quietness never go away no matter where you are i want you to know and understand that i am meaningless if dont have you ... no matter what problem there is or how much ... if i have to lose everything , i'm alway willing to... i just need you ... i jusst want to see you whatever problem i encountered , i will face it... you are the sunshine that gives me strength to go on ... i miss you so much ... when wll the distance between us will finally end !!!

...............................

i miss you so much celine

and all of my friends

2010-05-25T19:06:00.002+08:00

my heart is fine now But it not really fixed i know that very well

when i saw him with another girl i still be abit sad ...

BUT it be better than last time ...

i am sure that i will forget him 1 days !!! ...

2010-05-21T18:20:00.002+08:00

THE MORE I LOVE YOU >

THE MORE I GET HURTS!!!!

...................................

i know you strong enough to fight of the problem that you having now ....

i hope you will be fine ....

2010-05-20T20:29:00.002+08:00

it's probably a destiny that i must understand .

our love could only come this far.

i must let you go so that you could follow the right path .

but there is still one thing that i want to tell you before

you leave .

you will be the memory within my breath....

i will remember you untill my last day .

My heart would probably have to go on with time and one

day someone would probably come by .

But as long as i still breath, i won't forget you !!

i had the chance to take care of you , we breathed closed

to each other , there more thing

give meaning to my heart .

If one day you tired just think of time when i smiled to

you .

you won't have me from now on so please take good care

of yourself ...

From now on , my heart would probably stop having you ...

From now on , i probably must start walking away to find

my new love ...

WE WOULD PROBABLY BE FAR APART BUT I WILL NAVER ERASE YOUR IMAGE !!!

........................................

today get science MYE paper back

get 50/60 mark...

2010-05-19T21:08:00.003+08:00

i want to let you try to be me to find someone doing likewise to you then will you be as patient like me ? if you tried to be me , how must will you suffer ? ever thought ... ever be symputhetic to me or not?

...............................................

many people say that my english CMI ....

i admit that my english CMI but at less i can speck to people , understand what people talking about can aready ....

some people even know how to speck english ....

i just want to tell the person that saying me pls see ur ownself first if you good enough that can say me , i dont mind ....... but if you also not that good you no need to say me just say your ownself can aready .... i know my ownself well enough....no need people to tell me .... by the way thank for telling me that !!!!

........................

today get MYE paper back

BMTL: 47/100 :(

maths:72/100:)

HE:42.5/60:)

EL:56.04/100:)

CPA:33/50:)

science:so far don't know yet

2010-05-18T19:40:00.003+08:00

i don't know how i should conduct myself in order to make you understand me ...

i don't know how that heart of your would feel once you learn the truth in my heart ...

i want to be the person that you dream of...

but i can only keep you tucked away inside my heart ...

i can only love you by myself ...

my heart can only keep breaking day to day ...

i have to curb my feelings suppress them so that i don't feel lonesome...

i resent my own feelings for thinking of you constantly to no end... it 's all i can do

im only waiting for the day when we'll be far apart ...
i don't know how i'm going to forget you ...

i try cut you off but your presence still lingers

i dont know whether is good or bad thing to have only you fill up my entire heart like this .

2010-05-17T21:23:00.003+08:00

maybe u think that i no life, no feeling ...

u may think that u can do anything to me also can ....

BUT let me tell u 1st dont make me think of the word HATE!!!

if i hate ,i will hate more than i love u !!!

when i love u, u dont like.... u trying to make me hate u

if i really hate u than u will know !!!!!!!!

........................................................

" i don't understand ... why we don't walk away from a painful situation.

even though we know it will eventually pass.

even if we can't go back and change the past , but at least we're still

breathing . our life still

belongs to us . the only thing we can look after , is our own heart " my

friends keep telling me

this sentane and i keep thinking but i really cannot do!! i want to know

why i cannot forget him

what can i do so that i can forget him , who know pls tell me !!!

it make me hurt ,

again and again !!!!

2010-05-15T16:07:00.002+08:00

stop making promises to me , that you know you will not keep.

making me cry night after my little self to sleep.

stop trying to chang the thing around me, when i have already been change enough.

stop! stop! stop! i scream, with tears in my eyes,falling like raindrops from the sky .

so , here i lay with the possiblilities running through my head , keeping my doors closed once again.

stop pushing me to my boiling point, making me think the word hate.

stop telling me everythings going to be ok

stop telling me i have no life or opinion to say , fine if you think it 's my fault i take the blame.

i really don't have much to say , but word can be used in such a painful way.

and so i lay thinking holding my teddy bear i my hand , how i was heart broken once again.

............................................................

promise is no used if u aready break it

2010-05-14T16:52:00.002+08:00

i don't know what's happening in my heart now ...

i dont understand this pain when every part of my body has no injury anywhere

but why is the pain unbearable? to the point i can hardly stand i have no strength . nearly forgot to breath just because you leave me, can you please tell me the pain that you've caused, how should i treat it? please let me know so that i can treat it . this pain that has no mark, there's no wound , but if it hurt like this is broken heart , right ? i just now understand it . i never experienced pain anywhere that hurt as much as this before , this feeling of agony that i have what must i do to get rid of it?

.......................................

lonely

2010-05-13T20:17:00.006+08:00

i'm lonely , but no one know .....

no matter how hurt it is , i still bear it .

i don't know how i can bear it...

i alway shed my tears when i saw him with that person(girls)....

no matter how hurt i am , i still give in to him ...

no matter what to do , it's still you in my heart ...

there's a good person , but i don't love .

my heart is unreasonable...

i want only him!!!

i don't know...

why i love only him...

my heart is stubborn , not listening to anyone ...

no matter how bad he did to me , i still love and care him ...

2010-05-12T18:56:00.003+08:00

what is your heart make of?

why don't you love me ?

i alway devote myself to you , but you repay me with indifference .

unllike whhen you've done for her, you give in to her every times.

i really want to know ...

why it's not worth enough .

i dont know , i can't answer myself even once .

i just want to improve myself .... to make you happy

i want to be as what you want

what i supposed to do ?

what type of person will you love?

i have to lose to a pperson like her... again and again

what i supposed to do?... so you will love me enentually ?

............................................

2010-05-07T23:36:00.002+08:00

today is the 1st day of MYE ..... also the same at npcc day !!!.... need to ware full uniform and take exam damn hot !!!! .... btw i MORE sceared i fail examTHEN ware full uniform leh ....

boyboy make truble for me again .... damn SAD and damn ANGRY with him .....

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END OF POST FOR TODAY!!!!!

2010-05-02T22:17:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JIA HUI (MEIMEI)

I WISH U HAVE A HAPPY LIFE ....

EVERY THING THAT U WISH COME TUER....

...............................

2010-04-27T20:29:00.004+08:00

today damn free in school .... most teacher not come .... so got alot of time to relax but i don like ... cus when i not thing to do ... i will keep thinking about him n wanna cry ..... when i saw his face i feel like sad sad n wanna cry ...... i just wanna ask him 1 question but it so late to ask liao ... nothing must to say SO BYE!!!

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MISS BOYBOY SO MUCH !!!!

2010-04-26T22:12:00.002+08:00

IN EVERY MINUTES I MUST LEAVE WITHOUT YOU,YOU MAYBE STILL DUNNO THAT IT IS SO DIFFICULT TO STAY ALONE . I MUST ALWAYS TELL MYSELF TO CARRY ON MY NORMAL LIFE AND MUST LET THE PAIN IN MY HEART TO DISAPPEAR UNTILL I AM FAMILIAR WITH THE LONELY LIFE THEN YOU RETURN BACK AND TELL ME THAT YOU FEEL SORRY FOR MAKING ME SAD . NOW MY HEART IS LIKE A GLASSWHICH BROKEN . EVEN IF YOU FIX IT BACK STILL HAVE A CRACK ON IT...

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TODAY!!!!!

EARLY ON THE MORNING , GANNA THE STUPID SMS MAKE ME CRY AND DAMN MOODY ... GO SCHOOL ALSO BO MOOD TO STUDY ... SIT IN CLASS KEEP THINKIKG ABOUT THE SMS AND .....

2010-04-25T18:39:00.003+08:00

THE DAY YOU SEE MANY WAYS AHEAD,

BUT DONT KNOW WHICH WAY TO CHOOSE...

THE DAY YOU LOOK UP TO THE SKY...

THAT IS CLOUDY ALL OVER...

I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW ...

I'M WATCHING YOU NOT FAR AWAY...

BUT IF DON'T LET YOU LEARN,

YOU'LL STICK AROUND AND NOT GO FORWORD...

TRUE LOVE THAT IS UNCONDITIONAL...

WHENEVER YOU LOSE,

I'LL PREPARE LOVE FOR YOU...

AND WHENEVER YOU'ER IN SO MUCH PAIN AND NOT BE ABLE TO ENDURRE IT,

I WILL STAND BY YOUR SIDE ...

FOREVER..

THE MORE I SEE YOU FEEL HURT INSIDE,

THE MORE I FEEL HURT AND TRY HARD TO HIDE IT,

DO YOU KNOW?

..........................................................

LOVE AND CARE ABOUT YOU FOREVER!!!!

2010-04-23T17:53:00.002+08:00

when school , first lesson make me damn tired liao but it fun... for the rest of lesson i ok with it BUT for sci lesson damn suck ... i damn hate the teacher , so irritating...

I FEEL DAMN TRIED TODAY!!

Hais, i keep thinking of him n miss him so much ...

~I REALLY LOST AFTER HE GONE!!!!!!!!~

2010-04-22T21:01:00.005+08:00

YOU CAN SEE SMILING FACE FROM ME IT DOESN'T MEAN I AM HAPPY ...
MY HEART DOESN'T FEEL WELL, IT MORE WEIRD THAN U KNOW ...
I MISS ALL THE TIME THAT WE SPEND TOGETHER ...
THANK BOY BOY FOR EVERY THING THAT YOU HELP ME ...

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I MISS U

2010-04-20T22:22:00.002+08:00

WHENEVER "YOU" FEEL SAD "YOU" NOT THERE FOR ME ...
I DON'T FEEL HOW MUCH YOU CARE FOR ME ...
I THINK YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME WLL ENOUGH...
I JUST CAN'T FEEL THAT YOU PUT ME IN THE 1ST PLACE...

~I WANTED TO ASK FOR PATCH, BUT AS WHAT I AM THINKING
YOU WON'T PATCH BACK WIHT ME ANYMORE~

LOVE

2010-04-19T16:26:00.003+08:00

LOVE

IS TO CHERISH EACH
IS TO APPEREEIATE
IS TO SACRIFICE
IS TO CARE OF EACHOTHER
IS TO WALK THE DATH TOGETHER
IS TO BE THERE 1ST WHEN SHE/HE NEED YOU

WHEN I AM WITHOUT YOU , I FEEL LOSE

this is what i feel for now

2010-04-19T16:23:00.002+08:00

you had told me thst u love me but you can't patch back with me. what kind of reason is this?. what kind of stress do u have when u are with me ? . have u thig of me be4? if i make you stress, i sorry about it .i can't live without you , we break almost 1 month . i really can't forget you. i know you dont care me anymore . but i want to let you know that i still miss and love you 4ever.